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Dreams of a Rushing Bull

by Brennan DeBoer

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1.
Down the Way 04:12
Down the way where the sprawl starts to fray comes a call for sunlight Down the way when we all start to pray for a stall of gunfights Down the way Down the way Down the way Down the way past the walls and the pavement stray dogs look at you crosseyed Cross barren land laced with fresh scars like your face where your hands go numb from frostbite Down the way Down the way Down the way The world comes for you And you And you And you
2.
Coming In 07:03
I’m frozen still as the very thought it of strikes me again How the world just continues to spin and spin Like theres nothing to see but clear skies, clean streets, children cradled to sleep in the arms of their mothers sweetly, full of love Bring on the Flood Lord just come and see There’s a rose in my hand There’s a thorn in my side and it’s bleeding me it out There’s a hole in my head There’s a hole in the earth and they’re crawling from out Now they’re coming in They’re coming in They’re coming in Thats no moon hanging in space, it's a mirror of my pocked and cratered face turning gray, turning away perpetually Rustle the leaves peek through branches and see your body running naked through endless fields of green and smell the gasoline There’s a rose in my hand There’s a thorn in my side and it’s bleeding me it out There’s a hole in my head There’s a hole in the earth and they’re crawling from out Now they’re coming in Through windows and doors whether open or not They’re bleeding you out Now they’re coming in And they’re pulling you out The sun is bruising up the horizon on this morning Deep purple gone crimson Can still catch me in its grip Streaks of heaven cross the sky As the soft sun curls under the globe Who told it to go on and hide Leave me floating away I go dead in the eyes as the blackness of the night numbs these pale cold lips, this concrete face The world recoils into the shape of nothing I bark like a rabid dog Once it peaks the horizon Meets my eyes Starts to crawl out from under those hills Now I can feel it through the door I can feel it through the walls I can feel it in every room of this house I can feel them Coming in Streak of heaven cross the sky Soft sun curls under the globe Go on and hide It’s the blackness of the night That numbs these pale cold lips And my concrete face The world recoils into the shape of nothing Its many colors can come to spoil those like me Now I feel it through the door I feel it through the walls and windows of this house I can feel it I can feel they’re coming in They’re coming in I can feel it There's an ocean of light I’m gonna drown in its waves Get lost in them
3.
Yesterday 05:53
When day breaks You hesitate Then slow crawl Through this hell hole Your time’s spent In a harness Or at arm’s length But something’s calling Hey I’ve seen you before Time’s cratered your eyes You’ve walked through the piles of shit With a head full of violent intent And you saw them coming around the bend Matched their footsteps down the darkening alleyway Yesterday When you walk home Feel your heart groan Watch the stars pulse This holy universe Once you crawl in To your own bed Feel your head fill And it’s dreadful Yeah I’ve seen you before And time’s cratered your eyes You fled to the nearest road but the rotting surely spread And it crawled into your head You beat it inside of your skull to “look down and run away” But that was yesterday Today had yesterday leaking out its seams Out of its seams
4.
A Road 03:42
5.
As I roam across the permafrost And my fears beam across the sky All the bones and mush atop my legs rush Into view of a city on fire Softly, a bad man speaks to me Watching tears stream from out my eyes Words leave his mouth I can’t hear their sound But they’re true, long as they aren’t leaving mine As I hold a cross at the birds flying above Hear them scream alarms across the sky They peck at my cheeks With rotten lips where once were beaks They aren’t pretty, but neither am I There’s a road going down the side of my head It started deep in the bowels of my heart If it’s ever gonna end, it’s only gonna end In view of a city on fire
6.
Palmyra 08:00
A calm breeze found its way into me And now the world, it looks like Palmyra They found him walking down the street Humming to himself “It’s all mine!” I can’t sleep while other men breathe Tossing and turning on the spire Last night he walked into the light And screamed “I am the god of hellfire” My teeth crack and jailbreak out my mouth My crooked smile looks like Palmyra Tires screech as he taps the ground beneath Telling passing drivers “it’s hollow!” Softly the shepherd held to me From the crook to the pen to the pyre Like me the lord spoke to him He glistened in submission to the fire Lastly, stood there glowing me I finally took to the choir Last night I walked into the light I glistened in submission to the fire
7.
it was you Just when I think you’re gone then I see you floating through my dreams oh god, oh god
8.
Another Road 02:17
9.
I don’t have good days or bad days so it seems Nowadays I barely have days at all Just some other man’s dreams Now you’re close, I can feel you around my neck What you whisper hurts but my skin is so warm Beneath your breath Now I’ll stall Try to barrel through the night And I stall Just try to barrel through As I stall Watch lightning cross the sky And I stall But can wait no more I hear you Calling Calling You’re calling for blood Calling Calling Calling for blood What ever happened to sweet melodies Full of life and love so endlessly? I’m not your man I’m just your memory What ever happened to sweet melodies Pulling heartstrings 'til they’re hemorrhaging I’ve fallen hard, won’t you remember me? What ever happened to it all? Oh you’re on your own? Where you go I’ll go We’ll be all alone Where you go I’ll go
10.
Never Love 06:46
Let’s say the world ends And he looks you in the eyes Would even then You keep up this disguise? You’re a bug On a windshield Oozing your whole body out Of your disgusting little mouth Swept aside? (And) If blank pages Would fill themselves for you With perfect script and poetry That read like God’s own truth? Still you’re a dog Off the leash Running wild and free Until you reach the street Where you’re struck? It’s the last night of a never ending december Just like yesterday and the day before And you’re stuck in a house with one window to look at the world but the window has no latch and the house has no door Looking out the window you see trees burning to the north And the fire is making its way south Your breathing grows heavy You starting beating at the window then the wall so hard The brick is starting to crack and let light shine through Breathing grows heavier and heavier Down the hall you hear footsteps getting close And breathing grows heavier and heavier and heavier your vision blurs before it goes black your flaccid body just collapses to the ground like a slaughtered goat Suddenly someone’s fingers pry open your eyes but you realize they are your fingers and someone else’s eyes, and actually you are outside and there is no house just a door, the trees have all begun to bare fruit, the sun has split the clouds just to see you But you’re a child Bright and sweet With bags under your eyes And nails dug in your feet Never loved?

about

recorded in the middle of the country, written everywhere

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released May 27, 2022

All songs written, performed, recorded, mixed by Brennan DeBoer

Vocals on tracks 3,7,9 from Alexis DeBoer

Mastered by James Plotkin

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Brennan DeBoer Nebraska

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